I am just so deeply moved to the core of my being about this. Yesterday during the conclusion of the Grand Raid de la Réunion a friend is running in, it started to dawn on me that God isn't going to provide miracles to heal my STOMACH, and as hard as this was to deal with, all I could cry out is I want to run for you, Jesus. And it is true, I am so desperate to run again but it's different now. This is no longer some theological or cerebral exercise, this is touching me deep deep down. I welcome this work of the Spirit within me as sore as it is. I know he is building deep and strong foundations. I wonder how long this will go on for...
Monday, 21 October 2013
I’m sat on a plane leafing through my London Marathon race magazine. I get to this little cut out (before shaded in the numbers) and for the second time in almost 24 hours I actually start to blub! It’s a bit embarrassing really – but what is going on?
If we wind the clock back 1 week, I’m sat – finally – opposite the sports doctor, who is sat with an interested / professional look across the desk from me.
2 thoughts occur to me – thoughts that swing into prayers. The first is about this doctor’s medical analysis: “Please Lord, guide this man’s thought process, help him to know what to do”. Secondly: I realise I am not eagerly desiring to run again as I should be. How is it that someone as passionate about running as me has taken such a long time to get round to making this appointment? For the last month or two I have actually taken a lot of pleasure in recalling some of previous running adventures, and these experiences have just been coming back over and again, often for the first time. In many ways it’s been a relief to not feel lots of frustration and bitterness about what for me had become more than simply being active or practicing a sport I enjoyed. There was a sense of gratitude that I had been able to run as much as I had and also achieved what I could in that time. But I suddenly realise that this internal state of affairs is not right. There is something of calling to run, a sense that God actually desires to stir up in me something here. I need to be in eager anticipation here! And so I also pray: “Lord, stir me and raise in me the desire to really run again and for you”.
Sat on this plane it is clear to me that the seeds of these two prayers were expertly planted! The diagnosis of the doctor was in actual fact very different to anything I had heard before. Physiotherapy is probably useless in my case – I need osteopathy (small amount to “release” the ankle) and possibly a cortisone injection if that is unsuccessful. In fact the injury would seem to be under the ankle and not the ankle itself (which is where physiotherapy would have been useful). Wow! And as for the second prayer, I feel like the spirit is doing something in me very deep. I don’t know what, but he is at work. Even as I write this I feel even more emotions coming. Gosh. I have to get this sorted! No more hanging around! I am contacting the osteopath’s secretary every few days to check for cancellations as the appointment isn’t for quite some time.
Finally, check this out for some scripturally specific precedent! Acts 3:7.