No change

Three years.

That feels like a looooong time.

No change, but the calf tear from 2015 seems resolved.

I'm trying to decide if a long run's pleasure (at least two days worth, if you include all the relishing) outweighs a few days discomfort and disappointment.

J

Walking up and down stairs with a calf injury

Hey everyone, here's a quick guide for walking up steps with a calf injury that is working for me. Especially apply this for larger steps.

While going up stairs, lead with the non-injured leg. Bring up the injured leg level with the non-injured leg, without extending beyond that. Also, avoid toe lift-off - that slight shift puts instant strain on the calf.

While going down stairs, do the opposite: lead with the injured leg, bringing the non-injured leg level to it, without extending beyond that.

Hope this helps!

Barefoot excitement, my first segment

I am probably the last runner in the world to hear about Strava, but if I am not then you should definitely check it out. It is so motivating - I am particularly stoked by their segment feature, which allows you to pitch yourself against the local bests. Awesome.

I am simultaneously trying to make my feet hardier for further barefoot running - something which I am sure is only really achievable by doing exactly that - running barefoot. I probably went too fast to put down the segment time and have taken off some skin, but hey-ho.

One thing I will say if you are nutty like that - try to run on the road itself. I found there was less gravel and more comfortable that way.

Back!

14 km run today, with no hitches, and I think I am back!
I may always have a fragile left ankle, and I may have to think twice before participating in technical night trail races again, but this is very positive.
Pace, however, was kept slow, although this is partly because my cardio-vascular fitness capacity has dropped.
More soon.

Another "twist" in the tale

For the second time in 4 months, hope has irresistably been growing.
I realised that my footwear made a real difference to how much my ankle would ache or even hurt after a run. The light shoes did not seem to create a problem. Having an explanation for the December sequence of pain-free runs was a big breakthrough.
I have been since working over the last 10 days on a gradual recovery programme.
Only this afternoon 7km into my "long" run (12 km) with everything going swimmingly, I twisted my bad ankle, again.
A passer-by was able to lend me a phone to call in help from my wife.
I do not know what this means - maybe it will be ok to resume again after a proper lay-off period on the same principles I have been working on.
What concerns me the most is that I am just not able to stay sufficiently focussed for long enough to avoid every rock and root, and I simply do not find on-road very exciting any more, especially now speed workouts and races are not really on my roadmap.

ankle injury and weight of shoe

http://running.competitor.com/2014/05/shoes-and-gear/light-fast-free-2014-summer-trail-running-shoe-buyers-guide_103351

Excellent (though lightweight!) guide to some lightweight trail running shoes.

My next line of inquiry is do the heavier shoes hurt my ankle more? I had a lot of success taking my light-weight road shoes to Morocco in December. Things went badly when running with heavier normal running shoes later that month.

Injury comeback?

Coming back from injury is a very difficult task, and I suspect the longer the injury, the greater the difficulty in returning with suitable slowness. Ian Sharman has some good insights on the process on his blog, although his issue has been a lot shorter.

I face a secondary issue now to do with fitness. Today I ran this easy 9 km offroad having felt really significant improvement after a 4km + 5 km + self-imposed day off. I had intended to do 6 today but went too far one way in unknown territory. Definitely a bad move.

Still, it has been amazing to do any running at all, I am grateful and need much wisdom for the next steps.

UPDATE: Feels like I might be back at square one :(

So hard

Yesterday there was the annual 10K run in my local park.

I went out to watch and encourage some of the children and teenagers racing. I don't know what it was, but something in me broke as I watched the final straight of the girl's race, truly they were giving it 100%.

I had to leave.

By the time I got home I was uncontrollably blubbing and my wonderful wife gave me a long and needed hug. I am so not over this.

I also have a difficult week ahead of me in December - I need to cause myself a lot of discomfort and even pain, in order to plead my cause with the surgeon again. I now do not know which will be the harder of the two, the emotional or physical discomfort. Add in a healthy dash of frustration as another three months fly (they don't fly) simply to see the surgeon again.

Boo!

Réflexion sur une blessure de cheville prolongée

Le 24 Mars 2013, j'ai couru mon meilleur temps pour le marathon, mon 4eme, à Marseille, en 3:01:30, à chaque fois c'était plus rapide que la fois d'avant.

Avec un nouvel amour naissant aussi pour les  trails et les ultra distance suite au saint-Elyon dec-12, j'ai vraiment senti que j'étais fait pour cela. Casser les 3 heures pour le marathon n'était plus qu'une question de temps!

Trois semaines plus tard j'ai eu une entorse au niveau de ma cheville. Rien de trop grave, rien qui empêcherait une reprise apres quelques semaines. Le plus important était le fait d'avoir assurée ma place, grâce à ce temps qualifiant, au célèbre London Marathon. Quel cadre pour passer en dessous des trois heures avec toute ma famille et mes amis présents aussi. Mais la cheville n'a pas été rétablie aussi vite que j'aurais pensé. J'ai abandonné les deux courses suivantes et je n'ai même pas pu assister au démarrage de Martigues-Carro. J'ai compris: il fallait que je libère mon programme de courses pour la suite de 2013 afin d'être sûr que je puisse bien préparer Londres 2014.

Mais la blessure, au niveau du cartilage, s'est empirée, et jusqu'à un point que je n'aurais jamais imaginé: avec peu de fitness et une cheville endommagée, il a fallu que je laisse mourir le rêve. En 12 jours j'ai la possibilité de reporter une seule fois ma place pour 2015. Mais je ne vais pas le faire.

La vie peut être dur, même dans la course à pied. Certains ont perdu leur vie l'ayant fait, alors que d'autres persévèrent avec des handicaps de toutes sortes. Certains aimeraient vivre la joie de courir mais sont trop préoccupés par des vies difficiles, des conditions de vie reportant à l'insalubrité ou à la guerre pour pouvoir prendre cette échappatoire en considération. Quant à moi, ma blessure est presque microscopique et ne touche pas à ma vie "normale" (et c'est clair que c'est une vie privilégiée) ma cheville m'empêche de pratiquer tous les sports, enfin presque, et, bien sûr, la course à pied.

J'ai réfléchi un peu à la question: "est ce que je suis marathonien?". C'était devenu difficile pour moi d'entendre d'autres me présenter comme quelqu'un qui court. Je voulais interrompre et corriger: "je pense que tu veux dire que je courrais." Mais est ce que c'est si irréfléchie que cela? Suis-je uniquement un ancien du sport?  J'aime encore la course à pied - et je ne loupe jamais mes émissions préférées de la course à pied - et je rêve d'un jour courir de nouveau. Peut-etre que cela se réalisera et cette histoire ne sera qu'un petit détail dans une vie sportive sinon épanouissante.

Conclusion: zéro appréciation pour ce qui est évident, mais plus 4 pour ce que j'ai pu vivre par le passé et pour pouvoir encore suivre le sport, ce petit marathonien de coeur.

Reflection on longer-term ankle issue (English)

On 24 March 2013, I ran my newest PB (personal best) in my 4th marathon, in Marseille, 3:01:30, also my 4th PB. With also a new love birthing for the trails and the ultra distance following my first forray into that, end-2012, I sensed I really was made for this. Sub-3 hours for the marathon was also surely just a stone's throw away!

Three weeks later I twisted my ankle. Nothing too horrendous, nothing I would not get over in a few weeks, the important thing was having bagged the good-for-age place at London, to be my first big-stage marathon, what a setting for smashing the 3 hours with all my family and friends present too! 13/04/14 - woohoo! But the ankle did not fix quite as quickly as I thought and I bowed out of my next two races, didn't make it to the start of the next, and began to clear the 2013 racing agenda to ensure proper recovery time for London. Only the injury, which either evolved into or always was a cartilage one, only got worse over time, until the unthinkable: with little fitness and a dicky ankle, this dream had to die too. In 12 days I have the opportunity of re-applying through a very thoughtful backdoor those nice guys at London Marathon have made for us injured / sick folks for the 2015 race. But I am not going to. Life can be tough, even in running. Some people die having run, others soldier on with missing or dysfunctional body parts, artificial limbs, with pacemakers. Many people would love the joy of running but are too preoccupied with difficult lives, squalid living or war conditions to even consider this escape. As for me, my injury is near-microscopic and while it does not effect my "normal" life, and in this context it is a privileged life, my ankle prevents me from nearly all sport and especially running. It's all about the gentle walks.

I have considered the question "am I a marathon runner?" a bit (previously discussed on running media). For a while it really got to me when I heard others, even my family, describe me as a runner. I wanted to butt in there and correct: "I think you mean EX-runner!" But is it so thoughtless? Am I an ex-runner? I still LOVE running - I never miss my favourite running shows - and I dream of getting better one day. Perhaps I will, and this will just be a blip in an otherwise fulfilling long-distance running career.

Conclusion: zero appreciation for the obvious but plus 4 for what I have enjoyed, the ability to still appreciate the sport and still being a runner at heart. 

Almost stopped... but persevering! Here's some more ankle advice

Hey.
Just to let you know and to remember that I very very nearly stopped this blog - in fact I had drafted the announcement a couple of months ago and got interrupted by something, but I am glad I didn't go through with it. I recently wrote a reflective article which I am going to post in a second, but I have deliberately not focussed on any attempts to interpret any divine purpose or intervention, or lack thereof, as I felt like I thrashed that angle so thoroughly in the final quarter of 2013. One of my theological musings, which is a pretty significant one, is around the question: does s*$t happen? It seems pretty obvious to say yes! But the point of the question is not so much about bad things happening as bad things simply happening. But this is not the point of this post.

So we are 15 months into the injury now, but recent treatment using Hyalgan injections (I have actually had 5 injections in total now, although only the last three have been Hyalgan), which is hyaluronic acid for treatment of joint inflammations, cartilage trauma etc. I believe I am experiencing some improvement through this treatment. But imagine how hard it would be to measure a 5%, 10%, 15% improvement for something so hit-and-miss as this (reminder: pain or discomfort usually offset by at least 3 hours, sometimes as much as 16 hours).

A couple of videos I want to remember regarding foot exercises.
Heel walking and

and 2. another exercise to strengthen the shins:

That said, this article would suggest this is not the full story. Pronation on top of an ankle injury could have been worsening the injury. With that in mind, this chiropractor provides this exercise. WARNING - this reminds me of an early exercise I did with a French physiotherapist which made the issue worse (after seeing initial improvements in the first few months).

Race predictor

Much better predictions in my view than the runners world simulator: http://www.mcmillanrunning.com/

London marathon from the sofa

Some very real emotions sat here watching the marathon from the sofa I should be running with my family even on the streets to support!

Out of London, but 2 new keys to recovery

So I gave myself one week of marathon training and of course just couldn't hack any of the quicker stuff. So by last Sunday the chouce was obvious- pull out! I am grateful for the support of family and friends who gave their wisdom and encouraged this.

I hadn't realused this but London have specifically considered the disappointment of injury and I will have a guaranteed place for 2015. This has softened the blow. This event has actually been a good prod to me - why do yoy run? The question is back! Because I could just rock up and trot round in 5 hours. But there would be no challenge here and perhaps a bit disrespectful also to race organisers and my other sub 3:05 good for age runners arpund me at the start.

My two keys to recovery:
1. Swede-O Ankle Lok. Amazed at the support that tgis product is giving me and the difference it is making.
2. A pace/distance chart, where I mark either 1 or 0 depending on whether there is discomfort in the two hours following the run. More on this in a future post when I have done a bit more work on this.

2 January 2014

The injection is happening on 2 January. I do not feel too much emotion about this, it just seems like the only next step and the right decision after 8 months of i-think-i-am-getting-better-i-am-not.

So the appointment is booked and the product (diprostene) booked in my local pharmacy to take with me.

The NHS have a site that gives me some helpful insight into my chances of recovery and recovery process: see here. What I retain from this is that I need to ask for local anesthetic (!), that discomfort from the injection itself could last about 48 hours. Improvement is not likely to be quite as quick as I had been hoping "over the next few weeks or months". I \also am going to be asking for a second MRI scan of the "articulation sous-talienne", that is, the foot bit under the main ankle joint.

I have to keep hope however! I will draw up my usual marathon training plan, based on the usual one, but with a few changes I suspect. I am still fascinated in particular about the long run and will be ensuring that I get the balance as bet suited to my needs as possible. Lessons learned from last year's preparation were that the long-run-encompassing-intensity-sections could be very heavy on energy levels and I think I need to proceed carefully to reach these without them destroying my training potential. To be developed once we know training is even possible.

Some more prayer recently for healing has not shown any signs of immediate effect, but the prayers are also that I would honour God through all of this and he knows I am ready to resume to run for him and take to the hills and races for him.

Right, off to have a look at the programme and post a link to a good knee-injury prevention tip I just read in Runner's Weekly! Please see my updated Recovering from injuries and prevention page.

be warned runners of driving as well as of drivers!

It seems that the osteopathy is maybe helpful to the ankle PROVIDED I DON'T DRIVE. I have known for some time that both running and driving were triggering the ankle discomfort, but I now believe that the driving is worse than the running, which I think is a good thing.

That said my decision has been to proceed with the cortisone injection if the doctor agrees. Time is tight now, with marathon training scheduled to start January 1 in just a couple of weeks, and, yes, I would love to run the dawn to dusk race on dec 27.

You never know!

And so the roller coaster rides on

I am just so deeply moved to the core of my being about this. Yesterday during the conclusion of the Grand Raid de la Réunion a friend is running in, it started to dawn on me that God isn't going to provide miracles to heal my STOMACH, and as hard as this was to deal with, all I could cry out is I want to run for you, Jesus. And it is true, I am so desperate to run again but it's different now. This is no longer some theological or cerebral exercise, this is touching me deep deep down. I welcome this work of the Spirit within me as sore as it is. I know he is building deep and strong foundations. I wonder how long this will go on for...

Emotions stirring deep within my spirit

I’m sat on a plane leafing through my London Marathon race magazine. I get to this little cut out (before shaded in the numbers) and for the second time in almost 24 hours I actually start to blub! It’s a bit embarrassing really – but what is going on?

If we wind the clock back 1 week, I’m sat – finally – opposite the sports doctor, who is sat with an interested / professional look across the desk from me.

2 thoughts occur to me – thoughts that swing into prayers. The first is about this doctor’s medical analysis: “Please Lord, guide this man’s thought process, help him to know what to do”. Secondly: I realise I am not eagerly desiring to run again as I should be. How is it that someone as passionate about running as me has taken such a long time to get round to making this appointment? For the last month or two I have actually taken a lot of pleasure in recalling some of previous running adventures, and these experiences have just been coming back over and again, often for the first time. In many ways it’s been a relief to not feel lots of frustration and bitterness about what for me had become more than simply being active or practicing a sport I enjoyed. There was a sense of gratitude that I had been able to run as much as I had and also achieved what I could in that time. But I suddenly realise that this internal state of affairs is not right. There is something of calling to run, a sense that God actually desires to stir up in me something here. I need to be in eager anticipation here! And so I also pray: “Lord, stir me and raise in me the desire to really run again and for you”.

Sat on this plane it is clear to me that the seeds of these two prayers were expertly planted! The diagnosis of the doctor was in actual fact very different to anything I had heard before. Physiotherapy is probably useless in my case – I need osteopathy (small amount to “release” the ankle) and possibly a cortisone injection if that is unsuccessful. In fact the injury would seem to be under the ankle and not the ankle itself (which is where physiotherapy would have been useful). Wow! And as for the second prayer, I feel like the spirit is doing something in me very deep. I don’t know what, but he is at work. Even as I write this I feel even more emotions coming. Gosh. I have to get this sorted! No more hanging around! I am contacting the osteopath’s secretary every few days to check for cancellations as the appointment isn’t for quite some time.

Finally, check this out for some scripturally specific precedent! Acts 3:7.

Still more time to reflect. ...

Not that I really want time to reflect!! Im being given it anyway.

About a week ago I think I wrote about the challenge of coming back to run, wanting to run, missing running, but all these things in relation to the deeper purpose of runnibg for Him.

I havent been able to help myself start to imagine the London marathon next year already. What teeshirt could I wear? My friend Andy already gave me one great little tip there : put my name on it. That way, supporters can shout out my name which gives extra and much needed encouragement!  But what else? I have thought about:
(Front)
SUB
  3

(Back)
     by
GRACE
     OF
      G

yes. I like that.

Limbo

Posting has been very scarce for the simple reason that I am in that place no runner (or sports person... heck, anyone!) want to be: injured, and it's been in no hurry to go away. This morning I tried to chat it over with God. In the shower. I felt reminded of how he placed those three foundations into my running last time things were difficult, and it gave me so much depth and meaning to my running, that is to say by God, for God and with God. I felt challenged to consider why I wanted to run again. Yes I miss it. SOOO badly. But I felt like he was saying that I needed to miss the running with him and for him and by him. He is working on my wound and cleaning the wound.

Today I tried resuming driving because even using the clutch pedal has been causing aches the following day and going for a 5 minute trot with my daughter strapped to me (she's only 5 months!), the first steps running in 3 weeks. Both seemed to go okay despite how it went just three days previously with just some driving. But the key test is tomorrow.

By the way, the UTMB was last weekend. I found this video to be quite inspiring especially with the dramatic scenes that kick in around the 12 minute mark. Will it be days, weeks, months... years? Whatever, I'll be back!!!!

Run injury-free, there is nothing more precious!